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Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD

Jim Henson VS Stan Lee

[Stan Lee]
Greetings heroes, Stan Lee's here to battle
It's the mind behind The Hulk against the geek beneath the Fraggles
I'm just your friendly neighborhood writer man with a secret identity of a super MC
Whose raps are as dark as my shades, leave you squealing like:
MEMEMEMEMEMEME
You're in trouble now Jimmy, you dirty old hippie
Your beard needs a little bit of snikt, damn skippy
Heck, that face on your neck ain't sexy
You're one part Sweetums, the other part Skeksis
Step up to Lee and get your butt kicked
Your Muppet Snuffleupagus stuff is bupkis
I broke Ferrigno and the Comics Code
So keep your frog and pig show moving right along down the road
 
[Jim Henson (Kermit)]
I'm glad you got that out
(That anger can clutter your mind)
But you're a creative man Stanley (Yeah)
So let's just leave it behind
Cause I can sense your tension, once the verbal fencing starts commencing
There is no defense against the dents Jim Henson is dispensing
And I'm clenching all your strings like you're a puppet in suspension
Call your superhero friends in
(Yeah, cause you're gonna need Avenging)
Let me mention I'm impressed by all the vision that it took
For you to sign your name
(On all of Jack Kirby's comic books)
 
[Stan Lee]
Nice try, frogman, but Jack was a friend of mine (THWIP)
That was a low blow, he did his own Thing
And now you've made it clobbering time (SPLONK)
Oh, you taught children to count and spell
Then you taught your own kids how to drop your wife harder than you flopped on SNL
I'm telling you Henson
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry, I'm a marvel of a party pooper
I'll snap your turtleneck like a Doozer stick and put you out to pasture like Mr. Hooper
I'm sorry Jim, sometimes I can't control my rage
Honestly, there's a lot of things that you can't control at my age
But the truth is I miss ya, you were gone too soon
You were like watching a beautiful sunset... at noon
 
[Jim Henson (Kermit)]
Ah Stan don't be sad, we all have a time to go (Yeah)
Most of the Internet thought that you died 12 years ago
But the Four will always be Fantastic, the Hulk will always be Incredible
The words you wove within the hearts of heroes are indelible
There is no beef between us, we're two minds of the same kind
And there is no man who could ever muck with what we've left behind
 
[Walt Disney]
(M-I-C)
I rock the mic properly
(K-E-Y)
Turning profits I've got the key
I'm the Juggernaut of stacking knots unstoppably
The Disneyland-lord of your intellectual property
So get back to work, that's my dime you're wasting
I didn't buy you for billions so you could play around debating
Ah, you belong to Disney, which means you stay busy
Cranking out magic and assembly line whimsy
Artists begging me to stop, I won't let 'em!
Labor conditions in my shop? I don't sweat 'em!
I'm powerful enough to make a mouse gigantic
With only 3 circles I dominate the planet
Clearly, there's nobody near me
I'm owning this battle, in fact, I own this whole series
So hop on my Steamboat boys, but don't rock it
I'll put a smile on your face, and green in your pocket
You'll be safe and insured when you're under my employ
Now look at it! Gaze upon my empire of joy!
 

Donald Trump VS Hillary Clinton

[Hillary Clinton]
I've been in this game too long
I'm a public servant
Have been since I met MLK in person
I'm a woman of the people, that's for certain
You're a man of the people who don't like turbans
I was living in the West Wing while you were professional wrestling
You got skin like Russian dressing
From too much Russian investing
You been going bankrupt since the 90's
If I was in Iran, you couldn't find me
You don't care about the job, Trump
You just think the desk is shiny
I said that I respect your children
But that wasn't quite right, yo
Looking like some extras from American Psycho
First name is Hillary, middle name, Rodham
Last name is Clinton and lyrics, I got 'em
You fire celebrities on The Apprentice
Motherfucker, I fire bin Laden! Crack! *coughs*
How do I say this? You're racist
Ooh, you must get so pissed that your hands are too small to stop and frisk
So you use your fingers to touch chicks
 
[Secret Service Agent]
She's only 12 years old
 
[Hillary Clinton]
That's enough, shit!
 
[Secret Service Agent]
But she's married, sir
 
[Hillary Clinton]
Just gotta get pushy
 
[Secret Service Agent]
That's your daughter
 
[Hillary Clinton]
Well, grab her by the pussy
That's assault, brotha!
Don't tell me the victim's at fault, sucka!
You don't know shit about steaks, yucka!
But the ones on the 8th are great, muthafucka!
Better save the date, I'm gonna rock the vote
Bad bitch on the scene like Murder, She Wrote
So go ahead Donald, let me see your flow
I brought Michelle's speech, borrow some quotes
 
[Donald Trump]
Let me just say I respect all females
But your rhymes are trash
Put 'em next to your emails
Our country's in crisis
Who wants to vote for the mother of ISIS?
That might not be exactly true
But I don't do politeness
You wanna talk about misogyny?
Your Bill's worse than Cosby
He left a mess on that dress
Like you left in Benghazi
You wanna break the glass ceiling, Hillary, I sense it
But the only crack you'll find is my ass pressed against it
The numbers are in and I'm right on your tail
You don't have the stamina, baby, you're frail
This will be just like '08 when you fail
But Trump will appoint you to jail
How do I say this? You're a two
And you almost lost the primary to a socialist Jew
What do the American people gotta yankee doodle do
To get it through your fat face that they're just not that into you?
They want a strong male leader, who can stand up to China (China, China, China)
Not a crooked little wishy-washy bleeding heart vagina
I'm gonna run these streets like I run my casinos
More police and less Latinos
While you bury us in debt buying poor people socks
I'll create jobs tearing down mosques
Then I'll use all the best rocks from the site to build a wall
Dip it in gold and make Mexico pay for it all
I'll make this country great again
We'll all be living large
I'll tell Congress you're fired and put Charles in charge
'Cause this whole system's rigged and we all know the riggers
For the last eight years, this country's been run by-
 
[Abraham Lincoln]
Are you fucking kidding me with this blah blah blah?
I've half a mind to feed you both to my oversized-
 
[Abraham Lincoln]
I've heard more thoughtful discussion up in TMZ
You two got brother blocking brother on their Facebook feed
I'm so sick and tired of this ridiculous shit
If this is the best my party gets, then my party should quit
 
[Hillary Clinton]
Ha!
 
[Abraham Lincoln]
I'm sorry, did I say something that you found funny?
Wipe that creepy-ass smile off your face and beat this dummy!
And if she does win the White House, be a man and hold the door
Don't get your fans stirred up in some sorta Twitter civil war
Here's an equal opportunity smack down in the sequel
That's of the people, by the people, for the people
EAGLE!
 

Alexander the Great VS Ivan the Terrible

[Ivan the Terrible]
Look alive
Crème de la Kremlin's arriving
Try to serve Ivan
No surviving
You're a land rover, I'm a land expander
Here to hand you your first loss, Alexander
I'll school you like Aristotle
Smack you harder than you hit that bottle
You're nothing but an overrated lush, I'll crush ya
I'm the first Tsar of all of Russia
You're an asshole with an anastole
I'm heaven sent, divine and holy
So don't even try to approach the God
Or you'll get a huge sack like Novgorod
 
[Alexander the Great]
Hey fella, swell diss
But now you got the Panhellenist from Pella hella pissed
Stepping up's foolish as well as useless
Little Vasilyevich, let me spell out the list
I brought foes to their knees in Phoenicia
Breezed through Gaza to Giza
Had the Balkans, Persia, Syria, Iraq and Pakistan
In my expansion pack
While you died in the middle of a game of chess
You got vodka bars, flavorless
And what I'm 'bout to spit will be the craziest
So go fix me a drink so I can stay refreshed
Kudos! Greek for the glory I got
From winning every single war that I fought
So this will be straight forward, I'll take up this sword that I brought
And slice you in half like the Gordian knot
And I'll soar to the top like the eagle whose feather I would sport in the helmet that I wore
As I swatted my many enemies, shattered 'em like a porcelain pot
And they'd be praying for the torture to stop
But I would leave 'em contorted and they'd be screaming and roaring
Until their vocal chords were torn up and shot
And I would holler Bucephalus!
Hop on my horsey and trot
I win Ivan, I vanquish
I'm an immortal, you're not
 
[Ivan the Terrible]
Enough! I don't stand a chance against your skills
на здоровье - A drink to your victory!
 
[Alexander the Great]
Yes, I will!
It seems no one can defeat me
I weep, it's all so easy... ooh
 
[Ivan the Terrible]
What's wrong?
 
[Alexander the Great]
I feel a bit...queasy
 
[Ivan the Terrible]
Ha! You've been poisoned!
 
[Alexander the Great]
Oh, the pain is unbearable!
My stomach's riddled with holes!
 
[Ivan the Terrible]
Ugh, I'm terrible
There's no great who could defeat this Russian
 
[Frederick the Great]
Psst, what about a flute busting Prussian?
 
[Crowd]
Old Fritz!
Old Fritz!
Old Fritz!
Old Fritz!
Old Fritz!
Old Fritz!
Old Fritz!
Old Fritz!
 
[Frederick the Great]
I'm Frederick the Great, out the gate first servant of state
Oblique attack tactics ain't exactly straight
I've got creative talents and battle malice
Hard as steel on the field, genteel in the palace
Russia's fucked up, but no wonder why
With your tundras and taigas and bears, oh my!
I would pay a guy to tear out my eyes
If I had to look at your troll face every night
Now bring me my chair
I'm weary from tearing you a new derrière from here to Red Square
Fought a Seven Years' War, I ain't scared of a Tsar
'Cause beating you only took me twelve bars
 
[Ivan the Terrible]
Ohhh, what a humiliating defeat!
I know when I am beat, so of course, take a seat
 
[Frederick the Great]
I'd keep ripping you to shreds, but I'll take a break instead
And just rest my little head
 
[Ivan the Terrible]
Why don't you drop dead, Fred?
Hmm, my expectations were a lot higher
But at least I saved the rubles on the garrote wire
It's another great day and another great victory
Cause no great can beat me
 
[Pompey the Great]
What about me?
Pompey! Yeah!
 
[Catherine the Great]
Macedonians, Prussians and Romans
Those aren't worthy opponents
It takes a Russian to take down a Russian
I'm Cath, I'm a cat, you're a rodent
How are you the head of our state
When the state of your head was such a crazy one?
Such sick shit going through your brain
That you stuck a spike through your own son (Oooh)
You're unbalanced like I unbalanced the European powers with the wars I waged
I brought the Russian empire straight out of the olden days and right into the golden age
I'm the boss bitch that you just can't meddle with
This whole battle's like Alaska cause I settled it
 
[Ivan the Terrible]
Hmmm, what a beautiful Queen to beat me in a battle
Accept this gift, Your Highness
I hear you enjoy the saddle
 
[Catherine the Great]
That horse story is a pile of shit
Though I do keep 'em chomping at the bit
But you're never gonna get it, nyet
Couldn't spin in my chamber if this were Russian roulette
I'm picking up where Peter the Great left off
Bringing sexy back to House Romanov
So don't call me Queen, I'm far more great
Empress to Tsar 8, bitch
Checkmate
 

Justin Bieber vs Beethoven

[Verse 1: Justin Bieber]
Look what the cat dragged back from the dead
Man it looks like Chewbacca wiped his ass on your head
I'm the next Michael Jackson, you smell like Bette White
Here's some aspirin, you're catching Bieber fever tonight
Because my voice is incredible and your music is terrible
Who even listens to Classical anyway?
Even Elise wants to do me and now that you're right next to me
I can understand why they used a dog to play you in the movies

[Verse 2: Ludwig Van Beethoven]
Sit down, son and let me give you a music lesson
Ask Bach, I've got more cock than Smith and Wesson
Never say never? You'll never be forgetting
I've crafted masterpieces that will last throughout the ages
Your music gets you bitches on your Facebook pages
I'm committing verbal murder in the major third degree
My name is Beethoven mother fucker, maybe you'he heard of me
Not the Saint Bernard version, I'm the real OG
You wanna trade blows? You can't even hit puberty

[Verse 3: Justin Bieber]
I've got Kim Kardashian in my bed backstage
When's the last your time music got anybody laid?
I've got a concert in five, so there's not much time left
What else can I say? Your own music made you deaf

[Verse 4: Ludwig Van Beethoven]
I would smack you, but in Germany we don't hit little girls
And I'm glad I'm deaf so I can't hear that piece of shit 'My World'
There's a crowd of millions waiting to hear my symphonies
You wanna be a little white Usher? Here, show them to their seats

Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar

[Verse 1: Shaka Zulu]
Iwisa, meet Caesar, he's a commander
Who thinks he can dance with Conan of the Savanna
But when I hand to hand with you, I go hammer
Knock off his dome, wrap it up in his own banner
Send it back to Rome with a message from the Zulu
If you battle Shaka, this what happen to you
If you cross that equator, you'll head straight into a massacre
And get fucked by more than just Cleopatra in Africa

[Verse 2: Julius Caesar]
You talk a lot of shit for a man wearing a diaper
I heard you had poison spit, where was it in this cypher?
Cause all I hear is threats from a brute with no discipline
And I'm ruling over you like a boot full of my citizens
You should take your cow skin shield and hide under it
You're fucking with the most triumphant third of the triumvirate
I'm first of the empire and last of the republicans
And hunting you accompanied by legions of my countrymen
Ask my kidnappers if I'm just a shit talker
Doc J dunk on you like Boom Shakalaka
So don't go rattling your sticks at me
If I wanted to shake spears, I'd waggle my biography

[Verse 3: Shaka Zulu]
Right I've heard of your play, tell me how does it end?
Oh yes! You get stabbed many times by your friends
So whatcha gonna do with your Roman swords
When the lines of your legions get gored by the horns
Of the Zulu warriors! Trained on thorns
To dismember any emperor's pasty white hoards
I got the strength of a lion and the speed of a cheetah
And everyone knows you're just a chicken, Caesar

[Verse 4: Julius Caesar]
Oooh can I be a hyena? Cause I'm going to laugh
I'll pave roads with the bones of your goat-herding ass
First my front lines will drop back and spank you in the chest
Then I'll decimate your horns, you can't outflank the best
Let your reserves come at me my ballista's cocked and ready
When I take aim, I always keep my whole crew steady
Because there's no use in murdering you and your heathen
You can grow my wheat for me after you're beaten

Adam vs Eve

[Verse 1: Eve]
This battle's gonna end like every argument does
with you kissing my ass and begging me for a rub
I made a map mother fucker and I'm reading it too
gives me specific directions how to fuck with you
I know that you like to think you're so macho
But you smell like ball sacs and nachos
I work while you and your boyfriend Steve
Drink and play sports in a fantasy league
You're as sharp as a stick that I rub on my lips
So ho ahead take a shot, I'm sure that you'll miss
Like the laundry, the toilet, the grocery list
If you'd stop fucking up I wouldn't have to get pissed

[Verse 2: Adam]
My life was fine 'til you had to come aloung and wreck it
Could you please just shut your face for ten seconds
You cry about everything but can't decide what you want
I'm hungry. I'm fat. I'm cold. I'm hot.
You call it complex, but yo I'd call you a mess
You take two hours to cum, three more to get dressed
You got a lotion for this, you got a cream for that
Got any perfume that smells like get the fuck off my back?
When things are good they're great and it's like I'm dreaming
Until your junk starts bleeding and you turn to a demon
It ain't Summer Eve don't try to play me like a douche
You wanna bite on my fruit, well you can swallow the truth

[Verse 3: Eve]
Don't even bring up swallow
The first man on Earth ain't a tough act to follow
One pump chump and you're hung like a weasel
Ditch the fig leaf, get yourself a pine needle
You want alone time? Have it. In fact
Suck your own dick and shave your own back
That apple's the best thing I bit so far
Now I see how much of a dick you are

[Verse 4: Adam]
I wasn't listening, are you still flapping those lips?
I was just thinking yo did I give up a rib for this?
Woman I just don't know what your problem is
All I know is you're acting like a colossal bitch!

Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers

[Socrates]
I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium
Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium
The mad gadfly philosophy was my invention

[Nietzsche]
Rolling with the flyest nihilist

[Voltaire]
And me their French henchman

[Nietzsche]
We've got the wisdom

[Voltaire]
And the wit

[Socrates]
That even I couldn't question

[Voltaire]
Dropping Western medicine

[Western Philosophers]
On these East infections

[Nietzsche]
It's evident

[Voltaire]
You've never been

[Western Philosophers]
Our type of mental brethren
We're better

[Nietzsche]
thinkers

[Western Philosophers]
Better

[Socrates]
Speakers

[Western Philosophers]
Better

[Voltaire]
Lovers

[Western Philosophers]
Better men

[Confucius]
This type of arrogance is sure to be expected
from men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is

[Laozi]
You Westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life
You lack control of yourselves and of the mic

[Sun Tzu]
While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration

[Confucius]
Hand you an ass whipping our descendants will honor for generations

[Sun Tzu]
We filled a nation

[Laozi]
With patience

[Sun Tzu]
And the presence

[Confucius]
For living

[Laozi]
And you'll never hold a candle

[Confucius]
To the wisdom

[Eastern Philosophers]
We've written

[Nietzsche]
Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kowtow to
When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu
You need to take control of the life you're given
They call me Ubermensch cause I'm so driven

[Voltaire]
And I'm a free thinker so confronting conformists like you, it's my job
Got a sharp wit like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish kebab (Oh)
You flubbed the mission, I'm beating your submissive ass into submission
Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing

[Socrates]
Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins I can move on to Jackie Chan
Sun Tzu I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man
The seminal general isn't so tough on the mic, all your men must be like 'yo, what happened?'
You're pitiful lyrically lucky for history, you didn't aouthor The Art of Rapping

[Sun Tzu]
Bitch I wrote the Art of War so you better get your guns out
These white boys getting burned cause guess what now the Sun's out
Asians spitting sick but no this isn't SARS
Laozi kick the beat, now Confucius drop some bars

[Confucius]
Let me be Candide with you Voltaire
French drip with the egg noodle hair
Your ego's just so distracting
Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping
and you killed God so I gotta ask
Did he die of shame when he made your mustache?
You tried to plant a new German psyche
But you just grew hate, me no Third Reichy

[Sun Tzu]
And it all starts with you, you're the father Socrates
honestly I think you owe both of your students here an apology

[Nietzsche]
I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe
Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi
Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E
And I'll end any mother fucker like my name in a spelling bee

[Socrates]
Plebe bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip
Hang a sandal on the door cause you can suck Soc's dick

[Voltaire]
Sacré bleu Socrates, you're making things a little tense
Come let's blind these Chinese heinies with some shiny bright enlightenment

[Socrates]
I'll not be taught camarederie from a frog who rigged the lottery
You make a mockery of ethics so keep your fat nose in your coffee

[Voltaire]
Let me be frank, don't start beef with the Frank
Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks

[Sun Tzu]
I have turned them on themselves, their chaos is our opportunity

[Laozi]
We must remember - a bowl is most useful when it is empty

[Sun Tzu]
Ugh, Laozi I don't mean no disrespect
But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense

[Laozi]
Oh, you don't wanna stand in the path of Lao Tzu today
I'll make you move bitch, get out the way

[Confucius]
Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written
That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens?

[Sun Tzu]
Man, Confucius, you always try to put something in its place
why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face

[Confucius]
Okay, I see, you wanna make it like that?
I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to go box hat
So here's the real golden rule, I'm way above you weak rookies
Confucius say: 'You can all hold these fortune cookies'

Artists vs TMNT

[Leonardo]
Cowabunga dude, so let's get it on
Reptiles against the gathers of the Renaissance
We got the classical technique
to kick these three toed freaks back uder the street (oh)
I take a turtle and I turn him into mincemeat
You don't really wanna step to da Vinci
I love the ladies, I like to keep it mellow
so let me pass the mic to my man Donatello

[Donatello]
Hard shell but you're gross it the middle
Wouldn't wanna touch you with a six foot chisel
born in goop, raised in poop
I slice through a group of ninjas like fruit oops

[Raphael]
Yo, Raphael and I came to flow
deemed dope by the Pope and I boned til I croaked
I'm an emcee Shredder but I get the feeling
I should pass it up to my man on the ceiling

[Michelangelo]
Oh, Michelangelo and I'm a giant
I made David but I'll slay you like Goliath
I'm a rap God and you can't quite touch me
This battle's your Last Judgment trust me

[Leonardo and Donatello]
We drop science

[Raphael and Michelangelo]
We got the mathematics

[Artists]
The architects of rebirth are rap addicts
You beat the Foot but it won't go well

[Donatello]
When you catch an Italian

[Artists]
Boot to the half shell

[Leonardo turtle]
The wisdom of our master

[TMNT]
Splinter

[Donatello turtle]
Taught us not to rush to violence (Splinter)

[Raphael turtle]
But our master

[TMNT]
Master Splinter

[Michelangelo turtle]
Ain't here dude

[Leonardo turtle]
I don't think you wanna mess with my katana blades
get back in your floppy helicopter fly away

[Michelangelo turtle]
I can bebop and steady rock a mic sucka
I'm a pristine Sistine nun chudka

[Raphael turtle]
Oh, hi I'm a cool but rude guy
Put you back in school with the tip of my two sai

[Donatello turtle]
Dona - tell me who you are again dude
Cause I don't Gattamelata clue what you do

[Donatello]
That's because you mutants are too immature

[Leonardo]
You wouldn't know genius if it pissed in your sewer

[Raphael]
We got the talent

[Artists]
And the minds

[Raphael]
And the rhymes so sweet

[Michelangelo]
We're like your NES game

[Artists]
Cause we can't be beat

[TMNT]
Yo go ahead and hate, we'll just skate on by

[Michelangelo turtle]
You guys draw more dicks than New York pride

[TMNT]
We're the TMNT, drop kicking Italy
Chowing on your tower made of pizza, save a slice for me!

J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin

[Verse 1: George R. R. Martin]
Brace yourself!
Gather up your trools and your soldier elves
And your ents and your orcs and your wargs and your Stings
Your dwarves and Glamdrings
Cause there's a new literary Lord in the Ring
My readers fall in love with every character I've written
Then I kill 'em and they're like 'no he didn't'
All your bad guys die your good guys survive
We can tell what's gonna happen by page and age five
Tell your all seeing eye to find some sex in your movies (yeah)
Ditch the Goonie and cast a couple boobies
There's edgier plots in that David the Gnome
Your hobbit hole heroes can't handle my throne

[Verse 2: J. R. R. Tolkien]
Kings, queens, dragons, dwarves, horses, fortresses, magic and swords
You Hob-bit my whole shit, you uninspired hack
You want a war George? Welcome to Shire-raq
In book sales you've got nothing to say
I'm number one and two, you're under Fifty Shades of Grey
I got the prose of a pro, your shit's subpar
You're a pirate, you even stole my R.R. (oh)
We all know the world is full of chance and anarchy
So yes it's true to life for characters to die randomly
But news flash the genre's called fantasy
It's meant to be unrealistic you myopic manatee

[Verse 3: George R. R. Martin]
I conscientiously object to what you're doing on these beats
I'll cut you like my teeth on Beauty and the Beast
You went too deep Professor tweed pants
We don't need the back story on every fucking tree branch

[Verse 4: J. R. R. Tolkien]
I cut my teeth in the trenches of the Somme
You LARPed your Santa Claus ass through Vietnam
And it's hard for me to take criticism on clothes
from a dude who sends a raven to say hi to his toes

[Verse 5: George R. R. Martin]
Man your fat jokes are worse than your pipe smoke
My show's the hottest thing on HBO
I'm rock and roll, you're a nerdy little nebbish
And I may be dirty but you got a hairy foot fetish dog
Even the names of your characters suck
you got Boffers and bofurs and Brandybucks
I got a second breakfast for all them goofy fucks
Lift up my gut and tea Baggins my nuts

[Verse 6: J. R. R. Tolkien]
C.S. Lewis and I were just discussing
How you and Jon Snow both know nothing
Because the backstory of my box office is billions
Got my children making millions of my Silmarillions
And I'm more rock and roll than you've ever been
Don't believe me? Ask Led Zeppelin
You can't reach this fellow, shit, I'm too Towering
(Oh) Every time I battle it's return of the King

Rick Grimes vs Walter White

[Verse 1: Rick Grimes]
Carl, stay back, this is gonna get bad
I'm about show this lab rat how to be a real dad
A grade A MC, who'll ruin your A-1 day
Cause Sheriff Grimes rhymes dirty like my armpit stains
I'm a post apocalyptic cop who's got a lot of issues
Pop a cap in you and splatter the brain you misuse
Cooking up blue sky and bigger lies for Skyler
Hatching little schemes like a dying MacGyver
You tore your family apart sin by sin
Where I live it happens literally limb from limb
So write this down in your pancakes so you won't forget it
I kill zombies that are better men than you before breakfast

[Verse 2: Walter White]
I don't know, what you think I've done
But if we were to battle, I've already won
Ask Gus, you don't wanna face off against me
I'll stuff you in a barrel and make a dude smoothie (huaugh)
Your sense of duty gets your group into some deep doody
Always getting saved by some samurai booty
I'm a kingpin cooking crystal in the middle of the day
Having dinner by the pool with the DEA
Run you over with my Aztek GTA
If you ever try to stop Heisenberg getting paid
Here's a hot dose, let me watch you choke on the truth
You look up to me like I'm a pizza on the roof
Cause you're a loser, a failure to your whole entire crew
I've seen Walter Jr. handle walkers better than you

[Verse 3: Rick Grimes]
Carl! I said stay back with the others
While I finish this bitch like you finished your mother
You ain't the danger to me Walt, so knock all you want
I'll watch you get eaten on my fucking front lawn

[Verse 4: Walter White]
Your monsters don't frighten me and you can bite me
I'll be standing right here in my tighty Walter Whities (huaugh)
I'll bury you faster than your partner stole your whole life
No one saw Shane coming except for your wife